Just a Friend
by ZebraBLACKandWHITE
Summary: Rin "accidentally" brought he dia-journal to school! What happens? Chaos happens. But after the chaos, Rin learns something she will never quite forget.


_**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN VOCALOID**_

* * *

_{I swear I will stay by your side! Forever!}_

* * *

"-and then he slapped me! Can you believe that?" Miku ranted. I sighed and rolled my eyes. We were at my house, talking about normal things. I was never one to talk about personal stuff, but Miku is.

She was talking about her crush, Len. The guy who I have a crush on. I know what you're thinkin, 'Oh, typical plot, I know exactly how this will end' Well no. The thing is, I wasn't even bothered by it.

"Miku, I'd slap you if you were talking non-stop about some stupid leek store." I said matter-of-factly. Miku looked shocked.

"But Rin~! They were so good! There was this one that had honey and-" Blablabla. And Miku went off to dreamland. Miku had always had this obsession with leeks. Just like me with oranges. And Len with bananas. No! I don't stalk him or anything!

See, he and I are the best of friends since forever and I know basically everything about him. Like his favorite game. That he doesn't like sport. That he hates being called a shota. That he sleeps with a stuffed-banana. That he-No! I am not a stalker! Oh, you weren't thinking that? Don't lie to me! I can read minds! I've... Err... Learned...Since... Um... Kindergarden!

"Miku, I'm pretty sure Len would prefer it if you were ranting about bananas instead of leeks." I said. Miku's face turned from excitement to, well, neutral. But then it turned to somewhat childish

"Aww! It's not fair! I'm the one who has a crush on him, yet you know so much about him!" Miku pouted and I laughed. Miku suddenly glared at me.

"Oh, Rin. Silly, little, naive Rin! I know it! I can see it in your eyes!" Miku turned into Sherlock. She pointed a finger at me, which I considered quite rude but whatever. "You! You're... In love with my crush, aren't you?!" Sherlock-Miku said.

I gulped. "WHAAAAT?!" I screamed on top of my lungs. My heart suddenly beat faster. I hate it when it does that. Heart, don't get involved with everything! Your job is to pump blood, that's it! I don't understand how love exist in the first place.

"I can see it in your eyes. They lit up when you talk about him. You know literally everything about him too!" Leek-Sherlock pointed out. I gasped dramatically.

"Miku, I'd never-!" I tried to defend myself.

Miku shushed me with her fingers and glared at me. Why was she glaring at little, 'young me?! A Miku glaring at you isn't awesome at all, ya know! Just sayin'! "Save it, Rin."

There was a full second of awkward silence before Miku fell to the bed, bursting with laughter. I had 'WTF' look on my face, while Leeky had a 'OMG-LOL-can't-believe-you-fell-for-that' look annoyingly set on her face.

"Rinny!" I barked. I hate nicknames-especially that one.

"Don't call me Rinny!" I glared at her.

"Uh, sure." She said, obviously not caring. She sat up and patted my back repeatedly. I, again, had a 'WTF' look on. "Anyway, I know you'll never stab my back. Especially over something like this. Not to mention, it's Len we're talking about."

If only Miku knew how right she was.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. Did she mean Len and I don't fit each other? I do admit I've never eaten bananas and oranges at the same time but still! Leeky can't even read minds!

"Oh, c'mon!" Miku said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You guys are horrible together! I mean, look at you two! You practically have the same face! It would be beyond disgusting if you two were to end up together. Don't you agree?" I guessed right. HA! See, I told you I can read minds!

"Sure." I replied automatically, my mood dropping by the second.

"You sound like you don't believe me." Miku told me.

Well, duh.

"What? N-No! I believe you! There's no way I like him a-anyway!" I smiled and gave Miku thumbs-up. It was so believable. Just kidding. I was so horrible.

"Rinny." Miku had a determined look on her face, ignoring my 'I-don't-wanna-be-called-that' cries. "I know you don't like him. Stop trying so hard, it's pathetic." I sighed and smiled patheticly-according to Leeky.

"Anyway, Miku-" I tried to change the subject.

"What's this?" Miku asked innocently. I turned to her.

"MIKU, WHAT THE FUDGE ARE YOU DOING?!" I turned and found Miku holding my red diar-JOURNAL. I quickly took the dia-JOURNAL away from her little, sneaky hands. Miku suddenly had a teasing look on.

"Ooh~! Rin, are you keeping a di-a-ry?" She said 'diary' so annoyingly I wanted to slap her so, so bad. But I was even more annoyed that she mentioned my FABULOUS journal as a friggin' diary so without thinking, I screamed on top of my lungs, "IT'S A JOURNAL, GODDANG! YOU BAKAAAAA!"

Big mistake.

"So you do have a book where you keep all your secrets, hmm~?" Miku smiled. A stupid smile that still made me want to slap her apparently-cute-according-to-guys face.

"That's a called a diary, NOT a journal!" I screamplained (scream AND explained at the same freaking time. Yes, I know I'm a genius, oh-ho, no need to compliment me.)

"Same thing." Leek said.

"It is NOT!" I defended. I mentally face-palmed at Miku's idiocy. I mean, pfft. A JOURNAL and a DIARY. HOW is that the same thing! It's different! Miku's such an idiot. But hey, that's why we're friends.

"Sure. Whatever." Miku rolled her eyes nochalantly. I smiled a little, knowing I won this fight. Normally this would break out to a fight between me and Miku-never serious, of course. Miku saw my phone and a sneaky smile formed on her lips. "I wonder what's on that phone of yours... Now that I think about it... None of us ever touched it."

And with that she snatched my phone.

"There's nothing there. I'm not a gossip machine like you, ya know!" I teased, stucking out my tounge. But Miku was looking at my phone with a disappointed look. I guess she just doesn't appreciate soccer, animes, and food. Coz' that's the only thing on my phone.

Miku turned her gaze from my phone to my red journal. She licked her lips, probably imagining all the secrets she'd find out if she manages to get my journal. Since I never talk about personal stuff on that red book. But no. I don't talk 'bout secrets on both real life AND on paper.

Coz' I'm just secretive and reserved like that. MUAHAHAHAHA!

"You know, Leek..." I started, a secretive smile on my face. "If you really want to know... I might bring the book to school tomorrow and if you get ahold of it, I might let you read it... Don't you want to know what's inside of it...?"

Doodles and pathetic drawings of soccer players with me rambling why I like them.

Miku smiled with an eye that totally said she'll take my challenge. So she and I just sat there, smiling and half-glaring at each other. For minutes that seemed like forever coz' my eyes were starting to hurt. But the silence broke down when-

TA-DUUUM*!

"Oh shoot!" Miku said suddenly. That noise was from her phone, a text message probably. "Sorry, Rin! Mom and dad said I'll have to go home now! Mikuo's coming! Ja~!" Miku said as she ran through my bedroom door. Mikuo is Miku's cousin. Miku's parents basically LOVES Mikuo so yeah. Poor Miku.

I turned on the TV. Time for mah soccer game. But after a few minutes, I realized I simply couldn't concentrate on the soccer game so I turned off the TV. I laid down and stared at my red book. I probably won't bring it tomorrow but, hey, a little teasing wouldn't hurt, right? I mean, it's not like Miku would blab about it to people who probably doesn't care anyway just to take my book, right...?

And with that, I drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

* * *

I woke up with a start. I heard something-or rather, someone knock on my window. I knew who it was, yet I pretended not to know. "Oh, my~! Someone knocked on my window! A thief, yes? Someone help me!" I exclaimed with fake anxiousness.

"Rinny!" A squeaky voice was heard. A squeaky voice that most people would mistaken as a girl. The squeaky voice belonged to the only person I allowed to call me 'Rinny'

I laughed and opened my window to see Len's annoyed face. "Come on, you flat-chested actress!" Len insulted. He climbed the window and came inside my room. I hid my blush with my bangs and stared at my flat chest. It was actually a daily insult but ever since I found out about my feelings for him, I started blushing. "You jerk." I insulted back, sticking my tounge out.

"I don't get how you can still kid like that. The thief thing, I mean. What if I'm a real life thief? It's dangerous, you know!" Len grew closer to me, our faces inches apart. My face started growing red. "Wh-What would happen to me if you're gone..." Len whispered to my ear.

I quickly pulled away and fell to the bed. Len looked confused for a second but then he realized what he just said and his face grew red. "Y-You! I-I didn't mean it like that!"

I laughed at his idioticness-and denseness. Len turned around and shrugged. "-and I also don't get how you can laugh at something like that. Baka." He said just loud enough for me to hear.

"Hey!" This time I was offended. I pouted. "I won't make fun of you if I don't know you well." I said, the look on my face as serious as a serious plastic barbie doll.

"But you do know me well."

"Exactly. So I do make fun of you, Shota!" I laughed and jumped in bed. Len sighed. He was always the more mature one between the two of us.

I suppose you're confused, so I'll explain. It's been sort of a tradition for me and Len. Every morning, one of us goes to the other's house (get in using: windows), then go to school together. Except that I'm still on my pjs, so uh...

"Len, I'mma take a shower, so you just wait outside." I said awkwardly, holding the top of my pajamas. Len blushed and nodded as he went outside. I have a bathroom connected to my bedroom so yeah.

The cold water hit my face and I felt refreshed. I looked at my own reflection on the mirror-and glared at my flat chest. I grab a bundle of my blond locks. I suppose I do look like Len. But it ain't sinful, we aren't related or anything.

'Sides, it's not like either Miku and I have any chance with Len. He has a crush on Lenka, a cute girl with blond locks tied on a ponytail. I wasn't even surprised when I knew. I didn't cry, either. Don't ask me why, I too, don't know.

After done showering, I wrapped myself in a towel and stared at the mirror again. "To do the hair or to not do the hair, that is the question." I told myself. But then I messed up my hair. "F*ck you, hair."

I grabbed my clothes and put them on. I slipped my hairclips and wore my usual with bandana. I ran downstairs and saw Len smiling at me.

"Len, Rin! Breakfast!" My mom told us. Len and I ran to the table and I ate an orange bread, while Len ate a banana bread. As always. A flashback made it's way to my head and I laughed. Len gave me a glare but I ignored him.

"What is it, Rin?" He insisted.

"Oh, nothing." I smiled. "Just remembering when you and I first met."

Len nudged my arm a little. It was expected that he would. I didn't really had a good first impression. So when he and I first met, we played sumo and I kiiiiinda broke his arm and he was in the hospital for weeks.

But then, I apologized! Then we started playing together then before we realize it, we became friends. He dragged my arm and pulled me out of the house, saying, "Thanks, Aunt Lily!"

"Why did you pull me out?!" I glared at him.

"Rin!" He showed me his watch. "We're almost late!"

"AAAAH!" I screamed. "Holy moly, Mrs. Luka is totallly gonna kill us!"

So then he and I blamed each other as we ran to the school. He dragged my hand and guided me, since even though I was running, I was also tripping. I secretly smiled as I wondered if things would stay the same when one of us starts dating.

* * *

"Uhh... Hello Rin!" Miku gasped as she noticed me. I flinched and shrugged. What was wrong with her?

"I, um... Need to go to the bathroom now! Bye!" Miku said as she quickly ran. I, again, shrugged and grab her phone. Uh-huh, she dropped her phone while running to the bathroom. Totally random, right?

Ooh, Miku was texting some people. Wonder what she said.

**_To: All Contacts  
Text: Guys, Rin's bringing her diary TO SCHOOL! If you wanna know her secrets, help me take it._**

What the fudge?! Oh lookie, another text.

Wait... WHAAAT?! I nearly dropped the phone in surprise. I should've known Miku would do something like that. All right, that's a warning. I should be on alert all day. Waitt... It's not like I brought my journal anyway so... Nothing to be worried about.

Now... The other text.

**_To: Rin_**

**_Text: Rin, uh, this is awkward but, umm... I'm over Len. So fast? Shut it, you!_**

Eh? I put Miku's phone back to where it belonged, the floor. I took my own phone. Oh, there is that text. Stupid me for not checking. Oh well.

I opened my locker. I put my bag there. Lesse... 3rd period. I opened my bag to grab mah book. I took it.

... ... ...

WHAT THE FUDGE IS MY JOURNAL DOING IN THERE?!

I quickly grabbed it and eyed it suspiciously. Oh, here's a little something you don't learn in school. APPARENTLY BOOKS CAN SUPERNATURALLY GROW LEGS AND WALK TO WHERE EXACTLY YOU DON'T WANT THEM TO GO TO.

Very valuable lesson indeed.

I sighed. So I have to keep an eye on this book, huh. But nothing important is inside of it. Or what? Books can suddenly write on themselves too? Well, better save than sorry.

I shrugged and light-heartedly opened my red journal.

Hmm...

Soccer and me ranting.

Soccer and me ranting.

Soccer and me ranting.

Right. Nothing suspicious so far. Just me over-worrying.

Soccer and me ranting.

Soccer and me ranting.

A picture of me naked.

Wait, WHAT?

ASJCNSUJXHAICNSIAJNDOA! How the fudge did it get in there? Who took it in the first place?! Some crazy stalker who is obsessed with me and wants to play a trick on me? If so, then... I'M INNOCENT, TEI!

Hold on. I can just rip off the picture, right? All right, minna! Let's try.

...

IT DOESN'T WORK?! Now, seriously. Someone is deeefinitely playing a trick on me. What the heck did he/she used? I CAN'T EVEN RIP OFF THE PAPER!

I sighed and quickly put my journal back to my bag. I closed my locker and locked it. So I just have to keep my journal away from everyone. Easy. Piece of cake, right?

* * *

_CAFETARIA_

"Hi, Rin. So, I was, uh..." Miku's voice trailed off. "Kicking a zebra and it's eye is on your locker. Can I have the key?" Miku asked with fake sweetness.

"No." I pouted, playing around with the oranges I had.

"What about me?" Gumi asked. Now, I knew she was nervous. Her eyes were too big and her smile was too wide. "What about you?" I asked back.

"See, I, ano..." Gumi trailed off, too. "My, um, frog died this morning. I was so sad I carried it's, uh, corpse to school. Then I tripped and it's in your locker now." Gumi tried. Poor Gumi. So sweet, so young.

"No." I said, finally taking a bite at my orange.

_GIRL'S LOCKER ROOM_

"Hi, Rin. Umm... What're you doing here?" IA suddenly came to me, her smile was so big she could swallow an elephant-no offense to IA, of course. I rolled my eyes. The rest of the girls were all changing their clothes for gym class.

"Changing my clothes for gym class, duh." I mentally face-palmed. IA looked confused.

*blink

*blink

"EH?! R-Right, sorry! How silly of me!" She said. She then fake-coughed and grabbed both of my shoulders like some serial killer. Person. "So, uh, where do you put your dia-I mean, journa-I mean, uh, book?" She stammered like an idiot.

"My bag."

"..."

"..."

"And where do you put your bag?!" IA glared at me.

"... My locker." I, again, mentally face-palmed.

"... Ah. I see." IA mentally slapped herself while saying 'Baka! Baka! Baka!' like a highschool girl. Waittt... She is a highschool girl. You know what? Forget I said anything.

"... So before I decide this is a pointless conversation, your point is...?" I asked. That might be rude to some people, but I really didn't want to waste my time talking with IA when I really should be shooting hoops.

"Can I get your locker key?"

"No."

_RUNNING CLUB_

"Yo, Rin." Gakupo, the gay, purple-haired "samurai" walked over to me. Just to be safe from his sissyness, I stayed a meter away from him.

"So, um, how's it going?"

Staying away just a hundred more meters won't hurt. As I tried to run away from him, he ran over to me-yet I still tried to avoid him. I succeeded. For a while.

However, after an hour, that guy managed to catch up to me. "Can I have your, uh, book?"

"No."

Kaito, a guy at least a year older came closer to me. "W-What is it, Kaito-senpai?" I stammered, eyeing him suspiciously. He studied me, eyeing every inch of of my body closely.

*slap

"H-HENTAI!" I blushed profusely. Was this guy trying to make fun of my flat chest? Well, I allow no one to do that-except for Len!

BAKAito coughed awkwardly and smiled at me as if he didn't just eye me like a stupid perverted idior earlier. "Rinny-"

*kick "NO ONE GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO CALL ME RINNY!" I pointed out.

"-R-Right. Where do you keep your bag, underclassmen-chan?" BAKAito said.

"..."

"..."

"You know what? I'm sick of this. I'm not even going to answer." I said with a poker face and walked away.

Kiyoteru, the student council president came over to me. "Rin, can I have your-"

I won't even listen. I knew what he was going to say, anyway. "No." I replied sternly.

Kiyoteru-senpai looked shocked. "W-What are you saying? I'm asking you to go to the teacher's room!"

"R-Right. GOMENASAI~!" I screamed as I ran away.

* * *

I sighed as I closed the Teacher's Room's door. They asked for my dia-journal, too. I wonder how Miku even got the teachers' numbers... Well that tealette has her ways, I guess.

I walked out of the school and began walking towards my home. I usually walk with Len, but he wasn't there near the school gate so whatever.

I saw Len walking from afar and ran to him. I was like, 4 meters away from him, all bubbly and happy, but that was when I heard it. That soft little whimper. The hand gestures he made.

Len was sulking.

About what, I didn't know. I didn't understand what to do, but I walked faster and then I was only a meter away from him. But he didn't even stop to look at me. So I whispered the only thing-only word-that was on my mind that second. "Len."

He stopped.

"What... Rin?" He asked, his voice so shallow and dark. His bangs were covering his face. I gulped. It was almost dark, so I could barely see his face.

"Me? What about you?!" I asked back, grabbing his hand. I softly punched both of Len's cheeks, forcing him to look at me. The moment our eyes met, I saw a tiny little shine of tear in his eyes. But he quickly averted his eyes.

"... Lenka rejected me." Len confessed. My eyes widened as a tiny gasp escaped my mouth. I had a weird sensation on my stomach-what was it? Jealousy? Sadness? Or maybe, happiness?

If you're in love with someone, they mean the world to you. You would go on such foolish, desperate measures just to get them to notice you. They bring the light to your eyes, the pink to your lips, and the, uh, key to your heart(?). They're that person who, in the end, you know you'll think about. They haunt your thoughts night and day. To me, Len's that kind of person.

But to Len, Lenka's the one.

"Breathe in. Breathe out." I whispered to Len-or perhaps, myself. I let go of his cheeks. The love of my life just got rejected by his love. What was I supposed to do, what was I supposed to... Feel?

"Oh, Len." I smiled softly, hugging him. "Did you really love her?" I asked.

"Yes. I... I did." Ouch. His words seemed to stab my heart like a sword stashing a carrot. But I can handle this. I know I can. I didn't cry when he told me about his crush, so now really isn't the time to.

Len sniffed. I put my finger on front of his lips and mumbled a, "Shh." I rubbed his hairs multiple times, trying to sooth him. Mom always did that to me when I was a little kid.

"Maybe she just isn't the one." I tried.

"But I.." Len hiccuped. "I really thought *hic* she was.."

Rain started to fall. The sky who was a brilliant orange just a few minutes ago turned into midnight black. You could hear the winds whispering, the frogs singing, but of course, the loudest of them all were rain drops. Falling to the ground with a 'thud!'

"Hey..." I said. I couldn't feel Len shivering anymore. I guess he calmed down a little. "No matter how many heartbreaks you'll go trough, I'll always be beside you to cheer you up." I nuzzled my nose against his and forced a smile.

Can I really finish it? It's not like I'm crying. Right? Right? No... No. This really isn't the right time. But...

**_[So there's this girl.]_**

.

.

.

Come on, Rin. Don't be a coward.

.

.

.

**_[Yeah, I like her. Lenka's the name.]_**

.

.

.

"As your _friend_." I giggled.

My own words rang on my ear. I'll always be beside you to cheer you up. As a _friend_.

That one particular word.

**_[-friend!]_**

**_[Coz' you're my friend!]_**

**_[We're friends, right?]_**

Why is it always a friend? Why? Is this guy really too dense to notice there's a girl waiting right here for him? Why am I even crying? I was tough enough to handle his confession, so why now? Why now of all the other times, damn it?!

Thank God it was raining. The rain drops hid my tears. My little tears mixed with rain drops. Mix 'em together and what do you see? A blue drop of water, why? Because there's no difference. Tear drops and rain drops are the same thing.

You can't tell when they'll start, when they'll end. You don't always know the reasons they fall either. Len pushed me away. "Thanks, Rin. I really needed that."

"Y-yeah." I whispered. "So, um, gotta go!"

"Why?"

"I just, uh, really need to run, all right?"

"Wha-Rin? RIN?!"

I didn't even listen to what he said after that. Or maybe the rain was too loud for me to notice. I could barely listen to myself think, and I wouldn't stop at anything.

* * *

As soon as I got home, I ran to my room and closed the door quickly. I played a music from my phone. A loud one, so no one could hear my cries.

Why did I fall in love with him in the first place?

**_[You know what, Rin? I don't care about those girls anymore. I'll just stay beside you.]  
[Is it a promise?]  
[Sure. I swear I will stay by your side. Forever!]  
[Yay!]_**

That's right. It was that promise that started everything. My feelings for him grew larger and larger each day.

I wasn't even crying when he told me about Lenka. Now, suddenly, I am? Or are these just weird liquid coming out from my eye? It wouldn't stop, too.

Why did I even bother in the first place? Still, it's not like I chose to fall in love with him. If I could wish for anything in this world, my wish would probably be...

To have never _met Len._

**_[Hiya! I'm Captain Rin, The Sumo King!]  
[H-Hello, Cap-Captain Rin..]  
[C'mon, let's have a match!]_**

If only I've never met him, then there would be no false hopes. No forgotten promises.

There would be no need to mourn for him, or to cry for him. I would still be the super-tough Rin Kagamine I once was.

It's not like

**_[Su-ki da-yo!]  
[Eh? What?]  
[Just kidding! April Fools, Lenny~!]_**

My love isn't unrequited, after all.

All of those stuff I tried..

**_[TARAAA! Chocolates!]  
[What for?]  
[It's valentines, you baka! Eat them!]  
[B-Blech! You monster! You're expecting me to finish this?]  
[Ehe~! Well bear with me, Lenny!]_**

They were pointless.

Those memories we shared. Those jokes, laughter, and tears we shed. They're a big part of my life. But to you, they're just a distant memory from a friend.

**_[Huwaa!]  
[Why are you crying?!]  
[N-Nothing!]  
[You're such a crybaby! Here's a tissue. Guys aren't supposed to be crybabies!]  
[B-But I'm cutting onions!]_**

I guess now I'm the crybaby, huh. I'm such an idiot.

...

Tell me, Len. What's this throbbing feeling on my chest? Why is my heart beating so fast? Why do I feel like, no matter what I say, how I scream, no one will hear anything? What are these liquids pouring out of my eyes, not stopping? Why am I so desperately trying to grab an impossible dream which can't ever come true?

_**[Once upon a time-]  
[Cut that nonsense, Rin! We're 12! We know already that fairy tales aren't real!]  
[But I like them!]**_

I should've listened to you. Fairy tales aren't real. Happy endings doesn't exist. They only exist in fantasies, making little kids believe impossible things.

Experience isn't the best teacher.

Why do humans fall in love with different people? They experienced love, they get hurt by it. Yet, they fall in love again? Why? Do they want to get hurt again?

No. I suppose not. They simply took the chances.

This may work for thousands-no, millions of people but it doesn't for me. I fell in love. Yes, it was just a harmless, childhood crush at first, but as time changed, I began to notice different kinds of things.

One of them is how people tend to move on after a few months. So why doesn't it work for me? Why won't I move on? Why don't I notice other guys-God, there are a LOT of other guys in this world, so why him?

Why does it have to be him?

**_[Shota baka!]  
[Flat-chested monkey!]_**

Why does it have to be my childhood friend?

**_[Gyaah!]  
[What?! Rinny, what are you doing here?]  
[I wanted to see you, so I came to your house using the window!]  
[It's morning! We'll meet at school, anyway.]  
[Let's just walk together to school!]  
[Uh...]  
[Hey, Len. Tomorrow, you come to my house, 'kay?]_**

Why does it have to be my partner-in-crime?

**_[We know it's you, Gakupo!]  
[What did I do?]  
[You... You stole-]  
[THOSE EGGPLANTS FROM THE GARDEN!]  
[WHAT?!]  
[Yay! High five, Lenny!]  
[Sure, Rinny!]_**

My love is unrequited from the start. But you know what, it's always nice to listen to lies when you already know the truth.

I knew I would get hurt in the end, yet I jumped. I knew my parachute wouldn't open to save me. Instead, I fell to the ground with a big 'thud!' But I could see everything else smiling, laughing. And they see me like I just fell from a bike, nothing more.

I knew he had always loved another, it was confirmed months ago. Yet I kept clinging to a false hope, whispering lies to sooth myself. So why am I crying? I knew I would get hurt, so why is this heart throbbing so bad?

So this is what heartbreak feels like. I don't get why do they call it heartbreak, it feels like every other part of my body is broken, too.

Len and I, we were a team. We would do everything together. So this stupid little love shouldn't get in the way of our friendship, right?

But to me, none of it made any sense. Len got rejected. Shouldn't I be somewhat happy? Well no. Not really. Instead, all I could see is black and white.

But... It's not like it was over, right? Len and I are still friends. So I still have the chance, right? Even though I don't have any hope of you liking me back, even though I know I'll always be just a friend, one day, I know I'll have to shout at you, "Don't leave me alone!"

Because one day, you're gonna do it. You're gonna find a girl-way, way better than me-and you're gonna love her. You're gonna cherish her. She's gonna haunt your thoughts night and day that you'll forget me.

For a second, my thoughts went blank. I opened my eyes and wiped my tears. I shut off the music and buried my face on my knees. Suddenly there was it-a sound ending the silence.

"*knock knock* Rinny~!" The sound of my window being knocked. The squeaky voice I had learn to love. But it couldn't be him, right? No, no, no way. I immediately jumped from my bed and opened the curtains.

And there he was, smiling brightly at me like an angel. The moonlight shone on him, making his feminine figure clear as the blue sky. All of it-all that throbbing on my heart started to hurt more as soon as I saw him.

No, no! Why is he here? He shouldn't be here! No, Rin! Don't open the window! You're gonna get hurt even more! So don't-!

I opened the window and he jumped in. "What are you doing here?" I asked, trying to fake a smile.

He lightly pinched my cheeks, an angry look set on his face. "Don't lie, Rin." He said my name in such a hard way it hurt.

"I know you were crying." His voice softened and he pulled me to a hug. Those throbbing in my chest hurt even more, knowing he only meant it as a friendly/don't-cry hug, nothing more.

Then he did one action that seemed to make the night a little better.

I felt something rough-yet soft on my forehead. Len kissed me. It was a soothing sensation. Kisses on the forehead, huh... I suppose it's better than nothing. He played with my hair, feeling me somewhat more relaxed, I guess. "Now... You're gonna tell me what's wrong, Rinny?"

"... Heartbreak." I mumbled.

"Huh...?" Len sound confused. "Hey! How come you never told me!" I rolled my eyes.

Len laughed, a laugh that seemed so shadowed and so far away.

"Well, this heartbreak seems a lot worse than mine." Len joked. Well, of course. He liked Lenka for months. I've him for years.

"So who's the guy?" He asked, smiling. "I have to go beat him."

"It's..."

**_[Boo!]  
[Aaah!]  
[Rinny, you scaredy cat! It's halloween!]  
[I wasn't scared! Just surprised!]_**

"It's..."

**_[Hey, Len?]  
[Hmm?]  
[What would you do if I randomly tell you I love you one day?]  
[Pfft-! Well, I know you'll never do that. But I'll probably be just surprised.]_**

"It's a secret." I laughed and pulled away. I sat on my bed and smiled softly at him. Len's face kinda grew red as he crossed his hands across his chest.

"Why'd you wanna know anyway?" I asked curiously.

"Ennh... Well, to beat him up. Like I told you before." He said matter-of-factly. But then he walked over to me and grinned. He ruffled my hair and brought his face to in front of mine. "But I'm also curious on what guy made _this_ Rinny cry."

This Rinny, huh... I wish he'd just say My Rinny instead of This Rinny. Still, I felt my face grew red as I pulled away. "...I'm still depressed." I informed.

"Oh, I know what'll cheer you up." Len grinned. "A marathon of horror movies. Tomorrow's a saturday, right?"

"Okay!" I brightened up. "My place or your place?"

"Your place. We're here already. Plus, Rinto has his friends over and blech-alchohol." Len made a disgusted face. Rinto's Len's brother.

"'Kay! C'mon! Race you downstairs!" I laughed and immediately ran out of the room. Len cried a 'That's not fair!', as always.

I know from his eyes, I'll never be anything more than a friend. I'll always be the plain, old flat-chested childhood/best friend. He'll experience lots of heartbreaks and I'll be there. As a f... F... Friend.

But it's okay. If he's happy, even if it's not with me, it's okay.

.

.

.

Sh*t, who am I kidding? Of course I'm not just fine with it! My heart is throbbing so bad. It hurts like hell. I don't like seeing him with anyone else! I love him! So, so much that it hurts.

They say if it's true love, then you'll be happy if he's happy-even if you're not the cause of it. Well that's bullsh*t. Just some random people trying to make unrequited love seem awesome or something.

But it's not like there's anything I can do.

I can't do anything, I can just sit there and comfort him, I can't be his type. So... What was I supposed to do? It's pathetic, I know. But in the end, all I can really do is wish I've never met him.

That night, he spent the night at my house. We watched horror movies together. Sometimes, I clung onto him. Other times, he clung onto me. On some very, very rare times, he and I both clung to each other.

On the ending of the last movie, Len was already asleep. I yawned as gazed at his sleeping figure. Only one thing came into my mind. As I said it out loud, the throbbing on my chest seemed to just go away. "Aishiteru."

My journal. It's filled with pictures of soccer players. And rants. But on a certain page, next to a picture of me naked, you can see the only diary page I've ever written.

* * *

**_Dear Diary,  
_**

**_Should I start it like that? But isn't that mainstream? Should I just say, 'Dearest Friend'? But we aren't friends, are we? You know what? I'm just gonna go with the mainstream one._**

**_So today, I found out what I'll always be to the love of my life. A friend._**

**_It's not sad, since we're not strangers. But it's not exactly happy either._**

**_But I should cherish it, yes? I should cherish our friendship. And keep these feelings hidden on the deepest part of my heart. I'll lock it with a lock, and I'll give him the key. His choice, to open it or not._**

**_I'll always, and forever be, just a friend._**

**_But for now, I'm happy enough._**

**_ Rin Kagamine._**

* * *

_So, um, hello, I guess. Was this sad? Did this made you cry? I kiiiinda hope it did. Even MY chest hurts while reading this. Probably the saddest thing I've ever written. In both accounts. As usual, I do not own the pic. _

_PLEASE review! If you want, I might just make another chapter. From Len's POV. If you want, of course. If not, I'm actually somewhat satisfied with this ending. _

_But still. PLEASE review! _

_Signed,_

_Skye_


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